On using condom

Two days ago, one of my grandmother's amigas came knocking on our door. It was so loud that it woke me up from my siesta. When I opened the door, she hurriedly walked towards my grandmother, who by practice was reading her afternoon devotion in the balcony. Judging from the eagerness on her face she was probably going to tell her something urgent or important. 

NEWS FLASH: A 17 YEAR OLD GIRL FROM OUR NEIGHBORHOOD IS PREGNANT! 

I heard what I needed to hear and so I spared myself from eavesdropping further and hearing the rest of the story. If my notes are correct, she was the third girl who has been knocked up basing from what I have heard since I came back from Cebu last September. 

By some stroke of coincidence, that night, Juno was being shown on telly, and I thought it was the opportune moment for me to initiate a conversation about adult fertility and teenage pregnancy. I had the right audience at that moment, both of my younger sisters and my parents. 

I started by saying, "Uy, alam niyo, si *TOOT, buntis." My mother then made a brief comment, "Kawawa naman ang tatay, nagtratrabaho sa abroad tapos buntis ang anak. NAGKASALA PA!" I smiled sheepishly because of discontent and sheer disappointment, well, it’s because clearly that was not the message I was trying to send across but I figured there is no way they will get it due to what I call religious naivety. FYI, I probably have the most religious family in the whole universe, that of course, is an exaggeration. Let’s just leave it at that, shall we?

So, I interjected. This time, I had to be blatant, no wordplay and no read-between-the-lines sort of non-sense. Playing the brotherly role to my sisters, with confidence, I told them, "Kaya kayo, if you have to do it with your boyfriends, do it safe, use condoms." It took me only four seconds, but I reckon the message was powerful and straightforward albeit short. I did not stutter. I did not choke.

And then my father, with his collected and calmly demeanor, talked back, "Tumigil ka nga dyan sa mga pinagsasasabi mo." You think I was taken aback, NO, to hell with him. I stood my ground and said what I had to say. "If you want to do it, do it the safe way, not only you protect yourself from unwanted pregnancy, but also from getting STIs." And that is the truth. Neither did I lie nor invent some 'fact' to support my assertion. I am not the Catholic Church, okay?

Lo and behold, the biggest joke of the night came from my mother. According to her, we do not need condoms since we should not have sex prior to marriage in the first place--proper moral values are all we need. I cringed. My parents are still living in Medieval times I thought. And then she asked me, "Why, are you sexually active?" 

That I did not see coming, and I think most of you will raise an eyebrow with what I've said— I ACTUALLY LIED. I said no. I lied BIG time, if you know what I mean. Partly because I thought it was the only way for me to let them understand that I can be morally upright and be informed at the same time and get away with it. I dont have to be the black sheep who does not have proper moral values in order to justify why condoms are 'good' with reason. And also, I had to lie since inevitably, we will have to talk about my sexual practices, thereby disclosing my sexuality. I AM NOT READY TO GO ONTO THAT DEPARTMENT JUST YET. *winks lasciviously. HAHAHAHA!

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